A Wish is A Dream is A Goal

Now when you think about wishes and dreams and goals, most people think of riches, power, celebrity status, or maybe a change in Job status or career position. While financial freedom sounds amazing, that’s not at the top of my list. I am looking for mental and emotional freedom. Wait, what? What do you mean? I mean no anxiety, no PTSD, no depression, no self hate, no self doubt, confidence in my self and my capabilities. I am slowly getting there too. Now while my goals may not align with others, this is a big one for me. I have other things I want to accomplish, but this is the big one.

Jimmy always says to write down your goals. Some of my goals, I do write down. This hasn‘t been one of them though. I have kept this one to myself. Well, until now. One thing I know about goals, is it’s starts with a wish. “Man I wish I was more confident!”“I wish I was more mentally capable to handle certain situation. My nerves just won’t allow it.” “I wish I could be debt free.” These wish can be turned into dreams if you want it bad enough. Those dreams can then be swapped into goals that you chase after. If you work hard and don’t quit, your goal can be met and accomplished.

One of the things I am trying hard to do here is completely fence the property in. I also would like to make my hobby farm, some type of working farm. I would like it to sustain itself. Are these goals easy? Well, Heck no it’s not. It requires hard work, a lot of time, a good bit of money, and a ton of dedication. When working on your goals, each small goal you accomplish should be considered a victory. If you fail, take a step back, figure out what went wrong, and use it as a lesson moving forward for the next time. I already know this farm and these animals help me center my mind. It helps me find peace, when I am tormented mentally and emotionally. My animals provide a place of comfort even when they are being turds. I know that I have come leaps and bounds from where I once was.

I won’t always win. One thing I have learned is that it isn’t always about winning. When you lose, take it as a lesson. Analyze what mistakes were made and use it as a tool to grow. So when you try again, you know to do better. It doesn’t always go so easily. The important thing is that you Do Not Quit!!! You have to keep pushing forward if you intent to accomplish your goals. My goals may not align with everyone else’s but that’s okay. I don’t want to be everyone else. I am happy being me.

My wish was to have a farm. My dream was maybe I could turn self sustainable, and use it to help others. My goal is so much bigger than that. I feel like I am getting closer. Now, in retrospect, this isn’t a 50 acre farm that has 500 head of cows, and row crops, and brand new machinery. My farm is 10 acres, with a couple horses, a mini donkey, goats, chickens and rabbits. My farm is nothing to what some of my friends run daily. I don’t want to be that big. My goals are a bit smaller and that for me is okay.

I also realize it’s okay if my goals change. Nothing stays the same and that okay too. I have plans for things I want to accomplish for me and Leo. I have a dream in mind for us. This dream can and hopefully will be made a reality with hard work and lots of dedication. Nothing in life that is with having comes easy. Those things that are well worth it, you have to be willing to roll up your sleeves and get dirty.

I know this veers away from my normal content. I have been thinking lately about how far my little farm has come. I have been thinking about all the work I have put in and where we are today. I am proud of myself. I think about how far I have to go. It drives me. It motivates me to keep going. I want to leave my kids knowing their momma never stopped chasing her dreams. I want them to know I am fierce and brave, and I have tenacity and can go that extra mile.

My dreams and goals are far from all accomplished. When I look back to where I was, I can’t help but smile. I was on borrowed land in a single wide house up to my ears in debt and barely able to afford food. I was back in my Momma and Daddy’s house raising a family, finding my footing, trying to get back on my feet.

Now, I am here. I have this 10 acres. I have this family and friends who love me and support me no matter how crazy and preposterous it maybe. I am not as confident as I would like. I am however much better than I was before. I have less anxiety. I have less panic attacks. I am not cured or 100% over any of it. I don’t know if I ever will be. How will I get better and improve if I don’t at least try? I am so proud of who I am today. I am so proud of where I am today.

If I could say one thing, it’s everything is temporary, including the slump you maybe in now. If your at your lowest then look up and start climbing back up. Keep going. You will find if you look around you at your loneliest your not actually alone If you look a little closer. I thank God above for where I am at and how far I have come. I feel like his hand was on my shoulder this whole time. I have had so many people to uplift, hold my hand, encourage me, and help in one way shape or form. I feel so incredibly blessed.

It’s like the saying goes, I am not as good as I once was, but I sure am a lot better than I used to be. If nobody has told you, I love you. -Beck